XANA520

Greetings!

Well.. *dusts off his hands* that looks a bit better.

I have lurked on this site for many moons as of late and have come to realize that my deviations have looked rather... um.. *deep inhale* "dated". A lot of them were downright cringe worthy and the ones that weren't aren't exactly representative of who I am and what my skills are anymore. So I finally got off my rear and cleaned the place up. I have done the following:

- Scrapped most of my old deviations that were dated/cringe-worthy. (Couldn't bear to delete them. Too much history)
- Moved the few remaining that were decent to their own folder called "Old Art"
- Deleted all old folders

Once I start posting more stuff, I will reorganize things back into folders, but for the time being, everything looks rather barren. Hopefully that won't stay that way. For now...


~XANA520 signing out...

Greetings!

Today is the 14th of January and one of the luckiest days of my life. Somehow, I survived a catastrophic car accident with little more than a small cut on my head and a scrape on my arm. The SUV was completely totaled, having crashed through a man's front yard, hitting a small metal wagon, grazing his front porch and knocking loose a pillar, plowing through a fence, and uprooting a crab apple tree before finally coming to rest, upside down against a large oak.

How did this happen you might ask? I fell asleep at the wheel. And I don't even know why, considering I had had 7 hours of sleep the night prior and had been wide awake for class.

They took me to the hospital and did blood work and a complete CT Scan, finding nothing wrong with me. The paramedics, ER doctors, and even the cop at the scene were completely astonished that I managed to survive, let alone with such minor injuries.

Let's just say I'm counting my blessings now.


~XANA520 signing out...

Greetings!

Happy Thanksgiving/Harvest Day to all of you. This is also close to my 1 year anniversary of belonging to Livestream. I was planning on doing a stream at some point, but nobody was around to see it and I was busy. I hope you all enjoy the turkey or whatever you're having and get to spend time with your families.

I'm also writing this journal to prove that I'm not dead.


~XANA520 signing out...

Greetings!

Lately I've been doing some sketches for my friends on my Livestream chat. This is of our characters in different points of the roleplays we have. These arts have been posted to my ImageShack, but I think I will start to post them here as well. Most of them will probably wind up in scraps and a few have to be marked as Mature. Just thought I'd let this be known.

Expect Ponies and Anthro Ponies.


~XANA520 signing out...

Greetings

Figured I'd come on here since I really have no one else to turn to. To my friends on Livestream, I may have seen a bit off lately. And that's because I feel off.

For a while now, I haven't been... well.. feeling right. It's like there's dark cloud over my head constantly. I don't feel in control of anything, like I'm being led down a path with no end in sight while blindfolded. I have no idea where I'm going... no idea where I've been... no idea where I am... and no idea where I'll end up.

My schooling has completely gone to the wayside because I have absolutely no desire to do anything, really. Just... exist. I've kinda turned to Minecraft, specifically the Feed the Beast Mindcrack Mod pack, to pass the time. And.. I honestly feel like I've been here before. Oh wait... I have.

I'm pretty sure my depression is returning. Either that or it never left... it was just hiding. I don't know if it's my schoolwork, the fact that my brother's hamster is dying, life in general, some other thing, or a combination of everything that's causing this. But I hate it. I hate the pain, I hate the misery, and I hate this overbearing feeling of being completely alone and helpless.

No.. I'm not going to something stupid like commit suicide. I can't bring myself to do so. If there's one thing more powerful than this terrible depression, it's my fear of dying. Sometimes, though, I just need to vent. And give an explanation why I haven't done much of anything. With Tipped Scales. With Yin Yang's Tumblr. With anything.

Now if you'll excuse me... I've got misery to wallow in...

~XANA520 signing out...